New Year’s Day 2019 (Day 527)

Happy New Year to all! I'm so grateful for everyone who reads this blog. You have no idea how much I reveal here that I tell no one else. It is my safest outlet. Day 527 of sobriety finds me feeling so proud that I made it through a year like 2018 without taking a...

Holiday Party Horror Story – The Days After

It took me a few days to process the party I attended last Saturday.  I really wasn't sure how I felt about the whole experience. From my last post, you'll know that I was dreading this event for a few reasons (sobriety, social anxiety, tense interpersonal relationships...you know, the good stuff!).  I'm happy to report...

A Holiday Party Horror Story

I've been obsessing all week about a cocktail party we are attending this coming Saturday. Not to be overly dramatic, but it is the culmination of so many worries and fears that I'm not sleeping at night! The host and hostess were very close friends of ours. We partied together, celebrated holidays together, attended school...

We’re Back…

November was an unusual month for me.  We had not one but TWO vacations!   My husband and I went to Mazatlan with my parents and their friends for the first week of November.  A bit later, the husband, kids and my MIL went to Cancun for Thanksgiving week.  Both locations are coastal, beautiful and about...

A New Kind of Halloween

Everything is different now. No more taking the kids out trick or treating while the parents drink from liquor stashed in a wagon. This was our standard since my first born started walking. Some were fun times and some I don't remember much about at all. Tonight, kids two and three will be out with...

It’s Not You, It’s Me

On day 463 of sobriety, I discovered that our last really good "couple friends" were ghosting us. Yes, they still drink (sometimes too much), but we loved hanging out with them. We've vacationed together. Watched our kids grow up. Shared our deepest secrets and dreams. I am incredibly sad. I know I saw this coming....

Kids These Days

This morning, my daughter's high school received some sort of email threatening violence. As is protocol in our district, the police department came out in force. The children were asked to stay in their classrooms ("shelter in place"). Within an hour or so, the investigation was over and the students were able to go about...

Day 414 – Shouldn’t I Be Fixed By Now?

Day 414 of sobriety and I can barely muster a blog post.  I think back to my first days of sobriety, in my Intensive Outpatient Program, and distinctly remember my new found mantra: "A year from today, I will be a whole new person".  I had so many ideas and goals, but very few have...

The Challenges of Three

If anyone had told a young adult me, a proud only child, that I would THREE children, I would have laughed in their face.  Who would do that on purpose, I would think.  Well...here we are.  I'm a middle-aged mom of three:  Girl "S"-10, Boy "A"-12, and Girl "M"-14.  I'm going to just cut to...

Difficult Conversations

I am not a fan of difficult conversations.  Anxiety breeds too much chaos in my  mind and body before I even begin such discussions.  By the time the subject and I are together, I'm a ball of nerves.  The subject matter is irrelevant.  It happens every time. I used to drink to quell the butterflies...